Losing and Finding Community
Steve Bender, Fear Among Us, Wildfire Refugees, What's Delicious
The sun rose at 6:50 this morning and will set at 4:57 this evening. We now have over 10 hours of daylight. The change is perceptible, lifting our winter mood.
Remembering Steve Bender
Last weekend I noted the passing of Steve Bender, posted on Facebook by his longtime friend Susan Simon, cookbook author and food writer. He was 90. The news got me thinking about the fraying of our social fabric and loss of community on our fragile little island.
Steve was one of our island’s notable personalities for well over 50 years. Old timers knew him first as the man who ran The Sandpiper on Main Street, back in the hippie era of the late ’60’s and early ’70’s. The diner was located where The Maury People’s real estate offices are today, or thereabouts. There was always a contingent of customers and characters sitting on green benches out in front of the restaurant, including the island’s most notorious hippie – curly-haired, dark-eyed Cisco.
I got to know Steve in 1981 when I started out as a reporter at The Inquirer and Mirror. He cared deeply about the island, especially the waters surrounding it. He was in the newsroom frequently railing about the health of the harbor and how the effects of nitrates from fertilizers and surfactants from yachts being washed in the boat basin, were affecting marine life.
It turns out that he knew then what we all found out 25 years later. The activities of humans were fouling our waters.
Steve was a vocal presence at the annual town meeting, calling articles and amending them so often he earned the nickname, Bender the Amender. He ran for Selectman, where he felt he could make a difference. He won, beating out long-time incumbent Jack Gardner.
I was at the Rotary Club meeting at the Jared Coffin House when all of the candidates for Selectman were there to make their pitches to the voters. It was always a rather civilized affair where the candidates played nicey-nice and never said anything negative about their opponents.
Not Steve. He called out Jack Gardner for what he felt was the foot dragging and failed policies of the town. It was an uncomfortable moment because everyone liked Jack, a loyal public servant for many years. But it was vintage Steve, making people uncomfortable to make a point.
Steve had scalloped for many seasons, but his last chapter in life was as an oyster man. He farmed Pocomo Meadow oysters out in Polpis Harbor, working with his son, Emil, and grew some of the best oysters I’ve ever eaten.
John Stanton wrote a profile of the Benders in the Winter 2022 issue of Nantucket Today. In that story, Steve explained the idea of merroir, the marine version of the French wine term terroir, and how the environment in which something is grown, helps create the flavor profile of the crop grown in it, grapes for wine on land or shellfish in the ocean.
Somebody posted the article on the Facebook page of Nantucket Year-Round Community over the weekend. It’s a good read if you want to take the time to find it.
Steve was one of a kind. He won’t be replaced by anyone like him anytime soon, if ever, especially the way soaring real estate prices have determined who can live here and who can’t.
A Climate of Fear
When we talk about community, we cannot ignore how our lives have been enriched over the last 20 years by the people from many corners of the world who have come to the island to work seasonal jobs and then stayed to call Nantucket home.
When our kids went to school here there was very little diversity in grade school, but by high school that was changing. Students whose parents had come from El Salvador, Jamaica, Nepal, Thailand and eastern Europe were enrolled, bringing elements of their culture with them.
The Stop & Shop began stocking tropical fruits and tubers, spices and seasonings that are prevalent in the cuisines of Latin America. Suddenly you could buy rice in 10-pound bags and chicken feet and oxtails became regular offerings in the meat department.
Hot sauces and brands from the Caribbean became grocery store staples. Those who emigrated here became knitted into the fabric of our society, as well as a vital part of the work force that makes this island run.
Retired Police Chief Bill Pittman told me not too long ago that Nantucket had the second highest population of people from El Salvador outside of the Boston area. Some members of the immigrant population are here legally, some are undocumented. Whatever their status, they are all our neighbors.
Now many are living in fear after the Trump administration began its deportation policies last week. These are tense times all across our nation. You can feel it on Nantucket too.
Many of our neighbors have opted to stay home, rather than be out and about and risk being picked up by ICE agents. I was talking to a friend this week who volunteers at the food pantry. She told me that no one came in this week to pick up groceries. No one. She worried about how to get food to families who she knows need it.
I noticed at noontime at Wicked Island Bakery on Thursday the pastry case was pretty full. Usually, it is depleted by workers who come in first thing in the morning for breakfast and then again midday for coffee break. Lunch business has been off there too this week. Usually it’s booming.
Another friend shared with me a poster that some of the churches were putting on their doors, reading Private: Not a Public Space. She asked if our church might want to post it.
My concern, I told her, was that such a sign would draw attention to what should be a safe space for anyone. The Trump administration has proclaimed that the usual sanctuaries – schools, churches and hospitals – are no longer safe spaces for undocumented people they are hunting down.
Schools across the nation are also dealing with how to protect their students’ rights and keep education in focus. Some kids are afraid to go to school for fear that their parents won’t be there when they get home because ICE may have picked them up. Schools and bus drivers are grappling with that. It’s not easy being a teacher these days.
Friends in California Face Disruption
We are hearing from some of our summertime neighbors about how their lives have been disrupted by the California wildfires. Pop star and Nantucket native Meghan Trainor and her family moved to LA about 10 years ago. They are safe, she has reported on social media, but had to evacuate as the fires neared their home.
Sconset summer residents Army and Christine Bernstein were able to save their home in Pacific Palisades but most of their neighbors lost their houses and their beautiful neighborhood was destroyed. They’ve been displaced for what will likely be quite some time.
Another summer resident lost his Malibu home, and family members lost their homes nearby in the Palisades and their school. Tragedies like this leave members of our larger island community unmoored and adrift.
So, when we find everyday moments of connection it is wise to embrace and savor them. And they most often sneak up on us.
Such was the case last Saturday at the Dreamland when a sold-out house gathered to watch Penny Dey’s short film about the disappearance of Dr. Margaret Kilcoyne from her Tom Nevers home, 45 years ago. It was a warm embrace of community in what has been a chilling month in many ways.
Searching for Deliciousness
Last night we just had to get out of the house, away from the TV set, and have someone else cook for us. We ended up at the bar at the Tap Room, watching the Bruins lose while we ate. The coziness of the space coupled with very good food told us we made the right decision.
What I like about the Tap Room, besides their Big Mac inspired burger, is the breadth of the menu. You can get garlicky escargots with French bread for sopping up the garlic butter – which is the real reason anyone orders escargots – or something more substantial, like half a roast chicken, grilled salmon or beef bourguignon.
There are lots of options here, and the desserts are pretty good too. I like the sticky toffee pudding or the chocolate gelato, which tastes like a fudgesicle. The Tap Room is open from Tuesday through Saturday through the end of February. Then they will close all of March, reopening the second week in April.
I’m always on the lookout for places that serve good soup. I’d forgotten that Ben Woodbury, owner, baker and chef at Wicked Island bakery usually offers two made-from-scratch soups during the week at lunchtime.
Thursday, he had a French Onion Soup with thick slices of French bread stuffed with cheese curds and topped with melted Gruyere. Every element of that dish was delectable. He also had a sausage vegetable soup inspired by his travels to the Algarve. It tasted like pizza in a bowl. Both were very, very good on a cold, damp January day.